When You're On a Bear Hunt

Nostalgia is a sneaky little monster. It can be like living with ghosts; you never see what's right in front of you, and you always feel like someone's breathing over your shoulder. 

I have a tendency to get stuck in the past. It goes hand-in-hand with my tendency to hold onto things. I walk around sighing over things I had a year ago that are gone far, far out of reach, and I dare look God in the face and subconsciously say "I love You, but I loved this until You took it."

"Back in the day" can be even more dangerous than "what if." 

Living wide awake is impossible when you're constantly looking over your shoulder. Sometimes I feel like Lot's wife, knowing that the city I left behind is burning but still looking to see if anything stands. It essentially has the same effect on me as it did on that unfortunate woman-I become a statue. 

It can be hard to move on, especially when you've been hurt, or when you can't forget, or when you don't get closure, or maybe all of the above. It can be hard not to simmer in it simply because you don't know what else to do with it. 

There's a children's song I grew up with about a bear hunt. Yeah, we could sing "Jesus Loves Me" fifteen times, but nothing got us quite as excited as "Going on a bear hunt, gonna catch a big one..." I don't who thought encouraging preschoolers to chase bears was a good idea, but that's beside the point. 

There always comes a point when you get to the puddle, or the river, or whatever other mess we'd run into on our musical journey, and you're faced with a dilemma. Can't go over it. Can't go under it. Can't go around it. What's a kid supposed to do? Guess we'll have to go through it. 

But what do you when you've run into so many puddles that you feel like you've spent months running in circles? What do you do when you can't even remember what you were chasing or why you ever left in the first place? 
What do you do when you're downright exhausted and all you really want to do is turn around and find a nice cave and hope there's wifi and no bears and curl up with Netflix for the rest of your life? 

Nostalgia, longing for the past, is dangerous. But sometimes the best thing you can do is remember.

Yeah, you've seen more puddles in the last 3 miles than in your entire life. But in looking at your wet feet for so long you forgot that Someone was holding your hand the whole time. Give those puddles a second glance. 

That big one that you thought you'd drown in? Who was it that held your head above water and taught you how to swim? 

The one that kept tripping you up that you never thought you'd get past? Do you remember how he used a different puddle to finally get you through, and now you barely remember being there?

That nasty one you didn't even know you were standing in? He opened your eyes and jerked you right out into His arms. 

So when you're feeling like your feet are stuck in the mud and you just can't go on, remember that sometimes 1,000 puddles is actually 1,000 gifts. 

 

The only way to remind my amnesiac soul that God is going to take care of me is to remember all the times that He already has. 

Funny thing is, the greatest blessings, the ones that last, tend to be the ones that hurt the most. To gain, you have to lose. Joseph lost his family but then gained the ability to save them for generations. Moses lost his adopted home but then gained his people's freedom. Job lost everything, but gained more of God, and isn't that the best trade?
Jesus thought so. 

 "For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel's will save it."-Mark 8:35 (ESV)

I've lost a lot recently. But the gain? I've learned more about myself, about life, about people. I've discovered my calling is to write, not teach. I've regained and strengthened my relationship with my closest friend, and I've gotten closer to a lot of other people. I've grown up a lot. I've gotten peace about some of the big decisions I have to make this year. I've seen the beauty of God and really fallen in love with my Father in a new way.

And see, I could erase that list and just have Him and  still say I have gained infinitely more than I have lost. We're chasing Someone so much greater than a bear. 

So we can make it one more puddle or ten more puddles or a thousand more because our prize is great and our Guide is running with us. 

"The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand." -Psalm 37:23-24 (NLT)