This Is Love

Take a deep breath. Long, slow, easy. Let's simmer in beautiful for a little while.

I haven't written in a few weeks because the things God is doing in me are kind of unexplainable. Words won't do it justice, but I live in the world of words so surely some can at least give this some shape.

I've been reading A Severe Mercy by Sheldon Vanauken, and it has wrecked me in the best way possible. Something strange happened as I read through Van and Davy's lifelong love story and how Christ rewrote it. I fell in love.

I fell in love with Van and Davy's God, the God written in every inch of the earth. The God of educated people and poor people and broken people and people who love to live. The God that is infinitely right, infinitely gracious, infinitely good, infinitely loving.

Ben Stuart said at the Passion conference that the only way to replace beautiful things is with more beautiful things, and I've suddenly seen the most beautiful thing.

This is the God of Daniel, who sent an angel to him because he was "greatly loved."

Yes, I've been in love before, but never like this.

This is love that can't be explained, can't be contained, can't be pushed aside or forgotten.
This is love that makes all the difference.
This is love that comes, living, into my life when nothing in my life deserved it.
This is love that pushes away fear, anger, unforgiveness, hatred.
This is love that dares me to seek Him in everything because He is relentlessly pursuing me.
This is love that is more than just Lord and King, it's Father and Beloved.
This is love that allows me to say that however long the trial, however much suffering, I will make it because I am so dearly loved.
This is love that calls Him the treasure worth selling everything for, the pearl of greatest price.
This is love that hears Him every time the wound is deepened saying "Come closer. The more it hurts, the closer you get to Me."
This is love that enables me to love my enemies, to forgive 70x7 times.
This is love that walks so near that I need only to whisper and He is there.
This is love that knocks down walls of pride because this is unconditional love so undeserved.
This is love that says "turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face."
This is love that restores my hopeless soul and restores my joyless life.
This is love that delights to keep on saving me over and over.
This is love that makes me hunger for more and more of Him.
This is love that I can't get over and yet can't figure out how to talk about yet because it's so much more than anything I've ever experienced.

I can't write, can't sing, can't breathe without overwhelming awareness of the more. Something powerful is happening and I don't even understand it.

I've known Christ for over a decade but I've never seen Him like this before.

I've seen a glimpse of Him and everything has changed.