Surpassing Worth

Before I can move on and begin again, it's time to close this year. 
It would be easy to look at the regrets, the hurts, the dark nights, and the many, many tears.
But there is something greater. I've discovered something, Someone, so much greater this year than anything I've faced. I can identify with Paul when he says (Rebecca paraphrase) "Yes, Lord, everything is loss compared to Your surpassing worth."

Instead of the bad, I weigh the good. 
I see how God has been faithful to me, so exceedingly faithful. 
I see how He gave me exactly what I asked for and then showed me it wasn't what I needed. 
I see how in my darkest moments He grabbed hold of my heart and reminded me that He had never really let go. 
I see how He is actively, constantly working for the ultimate good. 
I see how He whispers close, "Child, you are mine." 
I see how He's taught me to really feel that and believe it rather than just know it. 
I look back on the night I looked up at Christmas lights and wept because I truly believed it in a way I never had; 

He is good and I am loved and He is my treasure. 

So yes, it may have cost me everything I ever thought I wanted, but isn't it worth it? It may have taken breaking my heart to heal it, but He did more than heal it. He secured it to His so now I see, really see, that He is all I need. How freeing! How joyous! Why would you want this world when you can have Him? 

So as this year fades, I can only exhale.

Thank you, Lord. It's over, and it was worth it.

"As for me, I am poor and needy, but the Lord takes thought for me." Psalm 40:17

"Behold, I am doing a new thing. Now it springs forth; do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert." Isaiah 43:19

"But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all your works." Psalm 73:28