Take it All

"Take the first, 

 take the last, 

take the good 

and take the rest." 

This quote is from "Take it All" by Third Day. It pretty neatly sums up what's been on my heart today. I like to hold on to things, to claim them as mine. My shoes, my iPod, my dog, my friends, my family, my Spider-man Cheez-it's (those really are mine), my books, my future, my life.

"I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."-Galatians 2:20 (ESV)

"And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.""-Luke 9:23 (ESV)

Yikes.
I certainly don't wake up every morning going "Well, time to die to myself. Woo hoo!" Being as human as I am, I'm stuck inside my head all the time which tends to make me focus on, well, me. It's all too natural to be consumed with your own problems and your own ideas. Which also makes you prone to claim things, and I'm not just talking about things we own. I get pretty protective of and possessive about my friends. Personally, I could probably count on one hand the people I would even consider "close friends", and as far as "best friends" the list gets even smaller.

So when God shows me that he needs to take people out of my life (and it's happened several times) I usually don't react well. I tend to feel like I've earned and worked for these friendships. I simply don't want to give my friendships to God, cause I'm scared he'll take them away. Sometimes He does, and although I know it's for a good reason, that doesn't make me enjoy it any more. 

But He wants it all. Every bit of me. And in order to follow Him and love Him the way I should, I have to give it all.

That's majorly scary. But necessary. 

In more than a few occurrences He took things and people away because they were distractions for me. They weren't bad things, but I liked them, loved them, even. When it got to where they consumed my thoughts and my time, he took them away. I then realized that my spiritual life, my relationships with others, and even my attitude had been suffering. When one thing takes over your life, it doesn't leave room for anything else, including God. They had become idols, and our God is a jealous God. 

Other times it wasn't even that they were bad, or bad for me. He just had better. For example, in ninth grade I made the switch from a creative arts school to my local public school. The first school wasn't a bad school. It had good test grades, I knew a few people there, and it was a great way to get a foot in the door for whichever career you wanted. But there were people at the public school that I'm sure God put me there to meet. I got the opportunity to share my faith with people that I'd known for a long time but never been close with. I met new people that I wouldn't have gotten to know otherwise. The first situation was good, but the second was better.

In both situations, God is sovereign and good. He knows what's best for me, even if getting there is hard. So I will give Him myself. I am not much, and I fail constantly, but he makes beauty out of broken things.