That Post With All the Lord of the Rings References

Call it a cliche, or silly, or whatever, but my greatest fear in life is spiders. Big ones, small ones, fake ones, I hate 'em all. Maybe it's because of that scene in the last Lord of the Rings movie. Maybe it's just because I'm a wimp. Yep, that's probably it.



Regardless, I see a spider and I freak out. Like, screaming-not-breathing-I'm-gonna-die freak out. When we moved into the house we're currently living in, it had been sitting empty for about seven months and my room was in the basement. So yeah, spiders galore. (Technically granddaddy long-legs, but still full of legs and scary-ness and evil.) The problem was, there is no way I was killing all five hundred thousand gazillion of those things living in there. So naturally, every time I found one I screamed a little (okay, a lot) and made my mother come downstairs to kill it. However, you can't scream for mom in the shower (I tried, she didn't appreciate it), and thus the shower head became my greatest weapon.

Spider: "Hey, I'm just gonna crawl across this curtain, don't mind me-"

Me: "DIE!DIEEEEE!OHMYGOSH DIE!!!"

Spider: "Could you stop waving that thing around? You'll get the floor wet."

 Me: "It's gonna kill me. I'm gonna die. I hope Mama and Daddy take good care of Preshis (my cat). Ben can have Balto (my dog). CRAPIT'SMOVING. DIEEEE! I HIT IT!" 

Spider: "flurgblurdeblargudghsdhdfb"

Me: "HAH!TAKE THAT YOU DEMON-SPIDER!I AM SPIDER KILLER, THEY WILL FEAR ME."

Needless to say, by this point the bathroom is soaked, my nerves are shot, and the spider is taking a ride down the drain. It's also the point when I remember: the spider probably wasn't coming for me, my bathroom is a mess for no reason , and I'm a wimp. 

How often to we make a mountain out of a molehill when it comes to fear? I felt like I was fighting an epic battle for my life when I was really killing a bug about as effectively as a four-year-old would. I felt like auditioning for a solo at church was the equivalent of singing to an angry planet that fed on memories and would eat the solar system if I messed up (Doctor Who reference, anyone?). I was afraid that talking to someone I didn't know would ultimately result in me making a fool of myself and that person forever hating me. Dramatic much? Maybe. Real fears that everyone experiences? Absolutely. 

Think of all the things we could do if we stepped out of our comfort zones. What's more, think of all the things we would have missed if we had run away from our fears. 

• I would never have ridden my first water slide in sixth grade and would've spent the rest of the day miserable.
• If I hadn't gotten the courage to audition for a play at the community theatre, I wouldn't have been asked by the director to be in the next play, one of the best events of my life.
• I wouldn't have been to New Orleans, Myrtle Beach,and, this summer,New Mexico. (My church choir director picks awesome places for mission trips.)
• Had I not auditioned to be a writing major, I might never have learned what happens when you follow your plan instead of God's. 
• Had I not had the courage to leave said creative arts school, I might have been stuck outside of God's will, and therefore miserable. 

Now, this list could be longer. But it's not, because I get scared. Fear has always been strong in my life, and I've struggled with it as long as I can remember. This post is more for me than anything.

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline."-2 Timothy 1:7 (NLT)

Fear isn't from God. It has no place in my life. There is so much to do and see in this world, and so little time. So why do we devote so much time to the things we're scared of?

Think of Bilbo Baggins. He was scared of these strange dwarves that showed up at his house, ate all his food, and then asked him to help them steal from a dragon. Had he chose not to go, to stay in his comfy little home in Bag End, to raise little Frodo, and to live a nice, quiet life, there would have been no Hobbit, no Lord of the Rings. In fact, Middle Earth would have been destroyed without Frodo to carry the Ring to Mordor. Gandalf chose Frodo because he knew that he shared a secret love of adventure, just like Bilbo did. The dwarves would have been killed, the kingdom lost to Smaug forever. "It's a dangerous business  going out your door," Tolkien wrote. But for Bilbo, it was worth it.

I realize this post is scattered, and my words are inadequate. Because, like I said, I still have to fight fear on a daily basis, and I lose a lot. But we must keep fighting, because it's worth it.

-Jon Acuff,author of Start (which just came out. Go order it now. Go. I haven't, because I'm broke (sorry Jon), and I'm regretting it already) and Quitter.